Conservative Blogger: In What World Is This OK?...

So, I'm reading the news over on the FOX News website and...well...here's a headline you just don't see every day...

Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

No, really...I'm not making this up. The text of the story is below:

Ohio police have arrested a man who was caught on tape allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue, Ohio, was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him engaged sexually with the metal table, according to a report on FOX19.com.

Price was seen on four separate occasions, always between 10:30 a.m. and noon, having sex with the picnic table, Bellevue Police Capt. Matt Johnson told the TV station.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.

Price, a married father of three school-age kids, faces felony counts of public indecency because his house is near an elementary school, according to the report.

How exactly do you work up to something like this? Do you start with an end table or maybe a dining room table without the leaf in it or some thing? Perhaps you take the knob out of a door and pray for no splinters?

What.
The.
Hell?

I mean, this wasn't just once. They taped this weirdo on at least four separate occasions! Now, he faces possible felony indecency charges--all for humping a picnic table on his own property all because he lives near an elementary school. (That will likely make him have to register as a sex offender, you watch.)

Why couldn't he just hire a hooker like the former Governor of New York?

William Smith
ConservativeBlogger.com

Posted by WilliamSmith on March 31, 2008 10:28 PM to Conservative Blogger