Conservative Blogger: I Have a Solution for Saving the Planet...

I've been thinking. I'm prone to do that. I don't claim to be a genius or anything, but I do think a lot.

I was walking through the grocery store the other day and I was considering Al Gore's sermon on global warming. I mean, he seriously believes that the polar ice caps are going to melt and drown mankind.

So, I thought to myself, "What if Al Gore is right? What can we do?"

That's when the answer hit me. I was walking through the store and it's as if the solution to this problem just jumped right out and smacked me in the face.

Want to stop global warming?
Want to stop rising seas?
Want to stop massive death and destruction of human life as we know it?

Then, my friends, we need to cover the polar ice caps with these:

That's right. We need to cover the polar ice caps with long-lasting, slow-melt popsicles...sans popsicle sticks, of course, because that would be the responsbile thing to do.

So, picture it: we have Popsicle make enough of these things to cover the ice caps. Federal subsidy...tax breaks...whatever it takes. Perhaps we start a a "Global Popsicle Defense Fund" to allow other nations to contribute. It provides a protective layer to the polar ice caps that the heat and U/V radiation would have to eat through before it ever got to the ice caps themselves. Since they're "slow-melting" it buys us an insane amount of time, resetting the clock, if you will.

And the benefits? Well, first, we'd add some color to those stark white ice caps. I mean, seriously, let's show the universe that the Earth has some character! Plus, the popsicles are safe for ingesting. We could even go with a sugar-free recipe so as not to turn the animals in the polar region into raging diabetics.

The downfall, unfortunately, is someone's got to place all of those popsicles on the ice caps. I recommend the French and the Chinese. The former's ass we saved in World War II and...well...they owe us, to be honest. The latter just because we in America keep taking the heat (no pun intended) for their environmental transgressions.

Slow-melt popsicles.

I'm just sayin'...

William Smith
ConservativeBlogger.com

Posted by WilliamSmith on January 25, 2008 08:39 AM to Conservative Blogger